The Worst Christmas Number Ones of All Time
It’s almost a cliché at this point. A top song on the Christmas charts is bound to be awful, right? That’s a major plot point of the Christmas movie, Love Actually. And that song was horrible.
This year, Baby Shark has been tipped to win the top spot over Christmas. While the odds are still relatively long, it’s a win that would make sense.
The Baby Shark song has seen huge popularity this year, getting stuck in more heads than just parents ready to throw their kid’s tablet or phone through a window. There’s even a whole album on the way later this month. It spawned memes and is already stuck in your head simply by typing it. But just in case, you can listen to it here:
While the top songs have sometimes been controversial, it’s quite possible that this one could land the top spot considering previous winners. Just check out some of these other hits that somehow made it to Christmas number one:
Ben Haenow – Something I Need
Is it an X-Factor love story? While the lyrics might inspire some people, and the song is quite catchy, it simply lacks that special something that makes you know that this is actually a good song. It’s more of a chant to cheer on your favorite contestant over the holidays.
The Justice Collective – He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother
Sung by an all-star collection of celebrities to raise money for charity, the song and performance isn’t bad at all. But it does feel designed to pull on your heartstrings. Are you crying yet?
Rage Against the Machine – Killing in the Name
No Santa, Christmas or sappy lyrics here. In fact, this is a fun song to rock out to. But it’s sure to cause a bit of a stir if you play it on a mix of Xmas top songs list with your grandparents around for the holidays. Maybe just be ready to skip this one and save it for when they go home.
Alexandra Burke – Hallelujah
Let’s be real here. This song is fabulous. The original was great, her performance is amazing. But you might cry. And it will probably ruin every other version of this song for all time. But at least you can play a vaguely religious Christmas song for the holidays and still enjoy every note.
Leon Jackson – When You Believe
Listen to the song, and you’ll hear all the Christmas undertones you’re looking for. Miracles. Believe. Finding faith and trusting in what could happen. Too bad the original was from Prince of Egypt and is all about Moses. Close enough, right?
Band Aid, Band Aid 2 and Band Aid 20 – Do They Know It’s Christmas
Plenty of celebrities came together for a good cause each time. The song went nuclear each time. Too bad it is so cheesy. There are even Christmas bells mixed in. And the question if kids in Africa know if it’s Christmas at all. Great to raise money for charity, but every moment in the song feels like a Christmas ploy.
Robbie Williams & Nicole Kidman – Somethin’ Stupid
Nothing says Christmas like the story of love lost at the Moulin Rouge due to consumption. No wait, that’s not the story of Christmas. But the song was super popular thanks to the movie, and the video might make you think of an old school Christmas movie, minus the sex scene.
Bob The Builder – Can We Fix It?
Still have doubts that Baby Shark could win? Then you must not realize that Can We Fix It was the Christmas #1 in 2000. Could it fix Christmas? Probably not.
Spice Girls – 2 Become 1
The Spice Girls actually ended up getting three Christmas top songs. Maybe they should rework this one to go 3 Become 1. Still, nothing quite compares with looking at sparkling holiday lights and hearing this song.
Mr Blobby – Mr Blobby
There’s a long history of children’s songs getting the top spot for Christmas. Maybe it’s because parents buy it for their kids. Or maybe it’s a uniquely horrifying Christmas miracle. You may want to cover your eyes and ears for this one.
Dickie Valentine – Christmas Alphabet
Wait, is S for the Stockings or for Santa? Get your Christmas Alphabet straight, Dickie Valentine! While this old-time number one is vaguely nostalgic and fun, it probably won’t make your holiday playlist.