8 Most Annoying People You’ll Find At The Poker Table
Poker is the ultimate game of strategy. Keep it cool and calm, know your game, and of course, give away nothing, and you’re on to a winner. But sometimes the twitch in your right hand as you try and act breezy about your flush isn’t the only problem to deal with. Sometimes there’s a smartass or few in the vicinity making the whole place stink.
Let’s take a look at the most annoying people at the poker table. If you recognize yourself in this list, now’s a good time to adjust your behavior before your next game.
1. The Drama Queen
Maybe inspired by the movies and hoping to get in on some of that dramatic tension, the Drama Queen loves to slowly reveal their win to you. They pause a while before presenting their winning hand, like they expect a round of applause or something.
Not only is it arrogance personified, it’s also dumb and disrespectful to your fellow players. Show some modesty if you’ve just emptied everyone’s pockets.
2. The Campfire Scout
‘Let’s all perch on rocks round the campfire and share stories of days gone by’, said no poker player, ever. Especially when they’re playing poker.
Nobody wants to hear about your other games, losses, near wins etc. It’s boring and distracting and we’d rather concentrate on the game we chose to play right here, right now.
3. The Gross Kid
Just why. The Gross Kid comes in many forms but is pretty self-explanatory. Maybe showers are unknown contraptions; perhaps the word itself is alien to this player, toothbrushes and toothpaste be like chalk and cheese, right?
Wrong! These are basic hygiene equipment tools and should most definitely be used by a person entering the public domain. Especially close quarters like a poker table. Nobody wants to be holding their nose all night due to the overpowering stench wafting over the cards.
And if you sneeze or cough, please don’t handle your cards with the now soiled hand. Again, just common courtesy.
4. The Know It All
Keep your tips to yourself please, this isn’t school. You could probably get pretty rich away from the table with all the tips and pointers you spout. And at the table you’re only annoying people.
Any decent players will know it anyway and will resent you sharing something valuable that could damage their game, and newbies will be scared off.
Nobody but nobody likes a know-it-all. They were always the loner at the school cafeteria…don’t be that kid.
5. The Slow Coach
They may as well not be there for all the input and concentration they’re giving the game. Never on the ball it’s like they keep flying out to space and constantly need to be dragged back in by angry stares from fellow players to remind them it’s their go. It messes with the flow. Either tune in and play or go somewhere else.
6. The Teenager
OK, so not literally a teenager, but for their reclusive attitude they kind of qualify. Sitting at the table, hunched up and very obviously listening to their music. I get it, some tunes to add some melody to your game can really add to the whole experience but when it’s so loud you’re deaf to the world around you, you become annoying.
Like the Slow Coach you slow things down and mess the flow. Plus, for fellow players, the bass booming out of your ears is not a pretty sound. Keep the volume down or one ear free so you’re still clued into what’s going on.
7. The Ranger
There’s nothing more self-indulgent and entitled than the Ranger who, mid-game decides to go for dinner, or to check out some other games. Their stack will stay there at the table for an hour and 15! So, whilst they’re out having fun, the players left at the table take the hit.
If you want to go elsewhere, that’s cool, you’re not forced to be at the Poker table, but see the game through or take yourself out with grace.
8. The Intimidator
Maybe you were picked on at school so now get your kicks playing the power card in the poker arena. But making newbies feel small and stupid by attacking their strategy is not ok.
Also, acting like you care and giving them tips is also a no-no. Remember your early poker days and how scary it was, and give them a little space.
So armed with this list you’re ready to spot these potential idiots and either avoid them or advise them. If you’re just learning the ropes make sure you’re familiar with poker hands slang or what a dead man’s hand means in poker, so you look like a pro.
If you’ve encountered these people at your table, you’re not alone. They seem to be everywhere!
But there’s more: This is part four of our series on the most annoying people in the casino and sporting world.
Part one: 14 most annoying people found at every casino.
Part two: 7 most annoying people at every football game.
Part three: 7 most annoying people found at the blackjack table.