‘Twas the Night of the Living Dead: Zombie Apocalypse Is a Good Bet
Posted on: December 11, 2013, 05:30h.
Last updated on: December 10, 2013, 11:11h.
Every year punters place bets on whether or not they’ll wake up to a snowy blanket across their streets on Christmas morning. It’s the old romantic in each of us that longs for this scenic backdrop to a joyous day, surrounded by our loved ones and overeating with all the Christmas trimmings, cannibalizing and spreading our infectious zombie disease. Wait. What?
Betting on Zombies
While some are betting on a white Christmas, UK bookmaking giant Ladbrokes is offering odds of 2000/1 on this Christmas being the start of the Zombie Apocalypse. That’s a nice, festive thought to have, and beats the odds they offer for football team Crystal Palace winning the Premier League this season at 5000/1. Talk about harmful gambling.
“We are quite confident that the odds of a Zombie Apocalypse at 2000/1 are correct, and although the public should exert caution over the Christmas period, they should not be unduly concerned about the chances of the undead rising up to attack and eat the living,” announced Alex Donohue, a spokesman for the Ladbrokes bookmaker.
Odds on a white Christmas currently stand at 5/1, which is a much better chance than those offered on the doomsday coming of the undead, and you are more likely to be able to claim your winnings after a bit of snow rather than having to fight your way through the zombie hordes to collect your prize. Although you would be pretty smug with yourself if you got that bet right, that’s for sure.
While the chance to bet on the Zombie Apocalypse is more than likely a nice bit of publicity for Ladbrokes, Sean Page – zombie expert and founder of the Ministry of Zombies – has urged the public to prepare for the worst.
“The public is always interested in the odds of a white Christmas, but they should be more concerned by the increasing likelihood of a Zombie Apocalypse,” stated Page, suggesting, perhaps, that he’s nipping at the whiskey with a bit too much alacrity.
“The most likely time for an outbreak is during the busy festive season as people spend more time in large groups, making it easier for the zombie virus to spread, triggering the Apocalypse,” Page added. Apparently, he’s seen it happen before.
Bets That Are Dead On
2000/1 seems a bit too low for the chances of a zombie epidemic really, but this isn’t the first time Ladbrokes has offered the chance to place wagers on the Apocalypse, as they also offered the same odds on the outbreak of an undead siege on December 21st 2012, owing to all of the hype around the end of the Mayan calendar to which doomsday “enthusiasts” were clinging hopefully in anticipation of their impending doom.
Strangely enough, Ladbrokes are also offering more likely odds of 500/1 on the possibility of Prince Harry getting hitched to Miley Cyrus, but the smart money in this case would probably be on the zombies, despite the fact that you would be unlikely to recoup any wager due to the, you know, end of the world and all that. So less “nothing was stirring” and more “watch out for the bloodthirsty, flesh-eating undead outside the door.”
Now that’s the Christmas spirit!