Report: 94% of Jabbawockeez Members Can’t Actually Spell Jabbawockeez

A recent report has revealed 94% of the members of the Jabbawockeez hip-hop dance crew, starring at Luxor Las Vegas, can’t accurately spell the name of their own group.

The eye-opening report was published in the April 2014 issue of Better Spelling Magazine.

Mnemonic devices just got schooled.

“It’s an alarming finding,” said one of the linguists involved with the study. “But what’s even more alarming is anyone believing popping-and-locking can hold an audience’s attention for 90 minutes these days. Sure, there was a lot to love about ‘Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo,’ but that came out in 1984, three decades ago.”

The researcher adds, “How can hip-hop dancing compete in a city that also boasts incredibly talented performers like Britney Spears? Ms. Spears is not only a great singer, she almost never misspells her own name.”

Jabbawockeez got its big break when it won the first season of “America’s Best Dance Crew,” a series viewed by dozens of people around the world.

Jabbawockeez’s name was inspired by “Jabberwocky,” a poem by Lewis Carroll in his 1871 novel, “Through the Looking-Glass, and What Alice Found There,” a sequel to “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland.” It was in this Carroll poem that the word “chortle” was first introduced.

“Jabberwocky” was also a 1977 fantasy film co-written and directed by Terry Gilliam.

Researchers noted it was extraordinarily difficult to ascertain accurate counts of troupe members able to spell the Jabbawockeez name due to the cast members’ practice of wearing white masks, thus concealing their identities.

“We’re pretty sure we’re in the ballpark,” said the researcher, “But who knows? They swap out members all the time. It’s ingenious, really. There’s no star of the show, so salary costs are kept low. If someone blows out a knee, you replace them, and audiences have no idea it happened. It’s like a modern day, hip-hop Menudo.”

Kid Freeze claims to have invented the headspin, but experts agree he’s buggin, yo.

Confusion over the spelling of Jabbawockeez has created many challenges in promoting the show. A public relations representative noted, “Pretty much every time we print posters, we have to trash the first batch because it came out Jabawockees or Jabbersockeez. We’ve urged the guys to pick a new name, but they all have business cards already. The group’s name is spelled differently on each card, but that’s not the point. There’s an emotional attachment.”