“CSI: Vegas” Has Been Euthanized, Thankfully

“CSI: Vegas” held so much promise. It has “Vegas” right in the title.

The reality is “CSI: Vegas” didn’t have much Las Vegas at all, and even less scriptwriting. In a word, it was unwatchable.

“CSI: Vegas” has been canceled, thankfully, after an excruciating three seasons. The final episode airs May 17, 2024.

“CSI: Vegas” fell shy of the number of episodes needed for syndication. So, there is a god, after all.

Because we are a Las Vegas blog, we had to watch the first few episodes of “CSI: Las Vegas.”

We would compare the experience to having our eyes pried open, like in “Clockwork Orange,” while sea urchins were pounded into them with a blacksmith’s hammer made of lemon juice.

The sheer lack of Las Vegas in “CSI: Vegas” was stupefying.

It wasn’t hard to predict this show was doomed. Casinos don’t use dice with rounded corners.

The show’s dialogue was clunky, the performances were wooden and the storylines were recycled nonsense from other, better, crime series.

Who are we, a Las Vegas blog, to judge a CBS TV series? How dare you. We have an extensive list of film production credits, including a couple of weeks on a feature film called “Miracle Beach.” We also had a subscription to “Entertainment Weekly” for about a decade.

Look, even USA Today thought “CSI: Vegas” projected “an overwhelming air of blandness and dullness.” And “USA Today” has never even been a production assistant on a movie featuring Pat Morita.

It sounds like “CSI: Vegas” was the nail in the coffin for the “CSI” franchise that began in 2000. What a horrible way to go out.

For anyone in Hollywood considering a Vegas-set production, please remember, Las Vegas is going to be the most interesting thing about your project. Las Vegas isn’t a marketing tool or backdrop. It’s the star of the show.

Also, don’t forget to hire writers. They tend to be shat upon in Hollywood, but they are the wings with which successful entertainment soars. Simply put, without writers, you’re plucked.