“New” Paris Hotel Tower is Getting Balconies

One of the hotel towers at the former Bally’s is getting an overhaul and will be integrated into Paris Las Vegas. One of the enhancements will be balconies, and they’re already being built.

Balconies in Las Vegas hotels are largely a thing of the past, thanks to gravity. Don’t make it awkward, that’s our job.

When these newly-balconied rooms open at Paris, they are going to make bank.

The new Paris tower will definitely be kiki-friendly, assuming people still use that term.

The switch of the Jubilee tower (Bally’s, now Horseshoe) to the Versailles tower (Paris) is taking its sweet time, especially since we broke the news way back in April 2023 the tower would be transitioning.

Honestly, is there anything we don’t know other than how to perform even the most rudimentary math calculations? Seriously, what in the hell are exponents and what have they done for us lately?

Here are the balconies being installed at Paris. Big thanks to our friend @JamesinLasVegas for the pics.

Sometimes, we’re fascinated with engineering and construction. Other times, we’re prefer to not know.

After we shared plans for the Jubilee tower, Caesars Entertainment confirmed the scoop and provided additional details which we promptly forgot.

Basically, there will be a bridge between the former Bally’s tower and Paris, and the west side of the hotel tower will have balconies, giving Cosmo a run for its money.

The views from the Versailles tower are expected to be spectacular, as they will overlook The Strip, including the vaunted fountains at Bellagio. Just avoid looking down at the Grand Bazaar Shops unless you are in possession of a motion sickness bag.

Why is this Bally’s tower becoming part of Paris? Capitalism. It’s very popular now.

Hopefully, all our squeamish readers have stopped reading by now, because we have to deal with the reality of balconies. Specifically, people sometimes jump from them.

Las Vegas media rarely reports on suicides at Las Vegas hotels, but we like to think people are grown-ups and understand suicide is tragic, not just a Las Vegas thing and sometimes people cope with tragedy in different ways, including sometimes with dark humor, which we definitely do not condone.

We wrote a story about how people die in Las Vegas. Somebody has to do it.

Yes, liability is a concern with balconies, and a number of Las Vegas hotels used to have them, but they’ve been closed off, thanks to lawyers.

Gravity and lawyers ruined pool diving boards, too.

Expect to pay a premium for these rooms. Worth it.

However, Caesars Entertainment has bravely decided to move forward with its plans for balconies, perhaps inspired by the fact a room with a balcony overlooking the F1 track could bring $15,000 a night, roughly.

Seriously, we can’t make our collective decisions based upon potential tragedies. Seatbelts, maybe, and motorcycle helmets, fine, but everyone taking off their shoes and belts at the airport? Dumb.

Life is meant to be lived, and balconies are a blast. Except for people like us with heights issues, but that’s beside the point.

We want a world with balconies and diving boards and Jarts.

For our fellow youths, Jarts were a fun game where kids threw giant darts high into the air in the direction of their family, friends and neighborhood pets. At some point, Jarts were deemed “unsafe” and the eye patch industry collapsed faster than a bridge hit by a freight barge. We literally mentioned dark humor a few paragraphs ago, you colossal baby.

Behold, the exact moment the fun stopped and America was ruined.

If someone’s going to end it all, it’s unfair to single out balconies. They’ll find a way. We haven’t closed all the casino parking garages (where most suicides in Las Vegas take place), and our country certainly hasn’t done anything about the ready access to guns. So, leave balconies alone.

Caesars Entertainment has pretty much blown through its target dates for completing the $100 million renovation of the Versailles tower, but we trust it (and the connecting bridge) will be completed by the end of 2024. November would be a good deadline, as F1 will be held November 21-23, 2024.

We’ll be keeping an eye on the progress at Paris. Well, James will. We try avoid going “outdoors” unless it’s to spend 14 hours in line to get lottery tickets in Primm. We’re a little sensitive to light due to all the Jarts injuries. Thanks a lot, Mark Newkirk. Long story.

Update (4/16/24) Thanks to James for the update.