Las Vegas Hotels to Institute Toiletry Experience Augmentation Tax

Las Vegas resorts have decided to double down on fees likely to rile up Las Vegas visitors. Hotels will soon charge an additional fee for bathroom amenities, specifically, toilet paper.

“While we understand there could be a small amount of backlash related to the implementation of this fee,” said one resort spokesperson, “our guests will soon realize how much they enjoy an enhanced bathroom experience at our Las Vegas resorts.”

Industry reps are quick to point out the Toiletry Experience Augmentation Tax will allow the hotels to invest in improved toilet tissue comfort for guests, especially in the area of “additional plies, reflecting the status of Las Vegas hotel bathrooms as truly world-class.”

Hotel courtesy fold
It’s unclear whether there will be a separate charge for the “courtesy fold.”

The new fee will be tiered, depending upon how much toilet paper one needs, and lower-cost, individual sheet options will be made available, presumably thanks to customer feedback acquired from focus group research.

It’s expected locals, members of the military and those with irritable bowel syndrome will be given a free, 90-day grace period after the program starts. According to hotel representatives, after that, they’re “S.O.L.”

The “TP tariff,” as it’s being called, is in line with an overall trend of companies charging for previously free services and amenities.

An example would be the fees associated with air travel. It’s common now for airlines to charge for snacks, carry-on baggage, WiFi and the privilege of not having to sit next to a really fat guy.

Free hand soap
Other Las Vegas hotel charges being considered are a hand soap fee, shower cap fee, mouthwash fee and what’s described as “a fee for merely casting your gaze toward the minibar.”

In Las Vegas, annoying surcharges abound. There are the much-lamented resort fees, concession fees, early and late check-in fees, parking fees and hefty fees for forgetting to leave your prostitute in an upright and locked position.

The jury’s still out about the Toiletry Experience Augmentation Tax. Some Vegas visitors will no doubt pay the fee without complaint. Others are unlikely to take a toilet paper tax sitting down.

We’d love to hear what you think.