Grand Bazaar Shops at Bally’s Las Vegas Won’t Look Nearly as Horrific as Predicted, We Lied

Construction of the Grand Bazaar Shops at Bally’s Las Vegas is moving along at a brisk pace.

Two new six-story-tall structures are among the latest developments in the space formerly occupied by a people-mover, trees and water features.

Grand Bazaar Shops
Where did this massive thing come from? And there’s another one right behind it. You go, construction dudes.

What we originally thought would be a slapdash collection of kiosks is looking more like a permanent addition to the Las Vegas Strip.

Grand Bazaar Shops
Do you have any idea how long we’ve been waiting to use the word “slapdash”?

The Grand Bazaar Shops at Bally’s says of itself, “designed as a 21st-century bazaar, Grand Bazaar Shops is an immersive retail and dining experience.” So, yeah, an outdoor mall.

This new shopping area is being built in response to a shortage of shopping in Las Vegas.

Sorry, we could barely type that with a straight face. It’s being built because trees and water features won’t help the Grand Bazaar Shops’ owners, Caesars Entertainment, help pay off its $23 billion in long-term debt. Neither will an outdoor shopping center, but why not give it a try?

Here’s another look at the work-in-progress.

Grand Bazaar Shops
This ain’t your everyday swap meet. It’s a swap meet with flair!

Ever since renderings for the Grand Bazaar Shops were first released, the design has been universally reviled.

Here’s the source of all the WTF.

Grand Bazaar Shops
It was irresponsible for us not to have warned you sooner this was coming.

As the project has developed, we held out hope the designers of the new mall would come to their senses and change the design to make it less garish.

Now, however, it’s clear the Grand Bazaar Shops will look a lot like the original plans specified. How do we know? Well, our friends at the 360 Vegas podcast tipped us off to a top secret staging area where a prototype of one of the Grand Bazaar Shops canopy pieces (they appear to go between the buildings, presumably to provide shade) has already been partially assembled. Take a look.

Grand Bazaar Shops
It’s alive. Bonus: This will soon be the view from your fancy room at Bellagio. Congrats, and we’re sorry.

Naturally, we breached security to get a closer look. Unless that’s incriminating in some way, in which case, nevermind. It’s satire. Or something.

These decorative flourishes will, indeed, end up looking like a rainbow became violently ill on them.

Grand Bazaar Shops
There’s a remote chance this ugly coloring is camouflage for the real design. A really, really remote chance.

The two-acre Grand Bazaar Shops will boast about 150 stores, and is located at the corner of Flamingo and Las Vegas Boulevard. You’ll know it when you see it, because it will have this sign outside.

Bazaar Shops at Bally's
Told you it was satire.

The Grand Bazaar Shops at Bally’s are expected to open soon. Far. Too. Soon.