Las Vegas Gets New Pro Sports Team, Vegas Knight Hawks

Despite out best efforts, Las Vegas is getting another professional sports team, the Vegas Knight

It’s indoor football, so don’t get too excited.

Shout-out to Sylvester Stallone and everyone who has no idea why that deserves a shout-out.

If the Vegas Knight Hawks name sounds familiar, that’s because the Las Vegas hockey team is called the Vegas Golden Knights.

Both teams are owned by gazillionaire Bill Foley.

The Vegas Knight Hawks will play at the under-construction Dollar Loan Center, proof positive
some naming rights deals aren’t worth it, no matter how much revenue is generated.

On the bright side, predatory lending now has an upside: More places to play sports!

The Dollar Loan Center is located in Henderson, Nevada, so we’re not even sure we’re obligated to report this news as being Vegas-related, but we’ll just play along.

The Dollar Loan Center will also be home to the Henderson Silver Knights, another professional
hockey team that plays in the AHL (American Hockey League), a league for players who dream every night about playing in NHL. Are we doing sports analysis right?

Bill Foley (pictured below) also owns the Henderson Silver Knights.

Bill Foley
Raiders owner Mark Davis has done a lot for Vegas sports, but Bill Foley did it without taxpayer money, so he wins.

The announcement of the Vegas Knight Hawks was accompanied by a glorious brand description, obviously written by someone who’s taken more than a few checks to the head.

Chill on the brand story, bro, it’s sports.

The Vegas Knight Hawks’ first head coach will be Mike Davis. He has some solid credentials, and also worked for five years with the Arena Football League where he was the General Manager of the Omaha Beef. We are not making this up.

The Arena Football League filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy and went out of business in 2019,
leading to the obvious question, “Where’s the beef?”

That joke would’ve slayed in 1984.

Indoor football has a long and glorious history of not being particularly popular or successful.

It’s fun to read about the history of indoor football, as long as you aren’t too particular about how the word “fun” is defined.

It’s hard to imagine Las Vegas having any additional demand for sports, but Bill Foley seems
to have good instincts about such things. Nobody thought hockey would succeed in Las Vegas, and it’s now a definite thing for locals. Tourists really could not care less, but still.

If the Vegas Golden Knights fail, we understand Bill Foley proactively trademarked another team
name, the Vegas Folds.

Ha, we kid because we love! Ha, we also kid about kidding!

Here’s an interesting tidbit: IFL players get about $300 per game, with a $25 bonus if they’re on the winning team.

That, folks, is how you turn a profit with indoor football.

Shout-out to George Costanza.

Season tickets start at just $10. We trust that’s a per game price, although it’s indoor football, so.

It may come as a surprise we are not personally a sports person, but we would never begrudge someone a pursuit that gives them joy. Unless it gives someone joy to use paper straws. We begrudge the hell out of that.

Join us in welcoming the Vegas Knight Hawks to Las Vegas.

May their sidelines be thickly padded, their goalposts baby-sized, their inbounds one-footed and their concussions mild.