Overcoming Self-Sabotage in Poker: How to Stop Getting in Your Own Way

Overcoming Self-Sabotage in Poker: What You’ll Learn

• Identify Self-Sabotage: Learn to recognize signs of self-sabotage in your poker playing, understanding how negative patterns and mindsets can affect your game.

• Explore Possible Triggers: Understand the triggers that might lead to self-sabotage, such as tilt, stress, or underestimating your abilities.

• Develop New Mindsets: Gain insights on how to cultivate a more positive, objective mindset that supports consistent improvement in your poker skills.

• Implement Practical Strategies: Discover practical strategies to prevent self-sabotaging behaviors, enhancing your focus, resilience, and decision-making at the poker table.

• Enhance Overall Performance: Apply learned strategies to not only overcome self-sabotage but also improve your overall performance and enjoyment of poker.

Why Poker Players Sabotage Themselves

Have you ever walked away from a poker session feeling frustrated because you know you made mistakes you could’ve avoided? Maybe you chased a loss when you knew better, played too conservatively out of fear, or skipped a planned study session because it felt overwhelming. If any of this sounds familiar, know that you are not alone.

Self-sabotage is one of the biggest hidden leaks in poker. It’s what happens when you get in your own way by making decisions that go against your long-term goals.

Even good players sometimes fall into self-destructive patterns without even realizing it. One moment, you’re playing your A-game. The next, you’re on autopilot, tilting or avoiding the very work that would help you improve.

So why does this happen? The truth is, self-sabotage isn’t random. Instead, it’s a predictable pattern rooted in human nature. Whether it’s fear of failure, fear of success, or the comfort of old habits, something in your mindset is pulling you toward behaviors that hold you back.

And until you recognize and address these patterns, you’ll keep repeating them, which can cost you money, confidence, and progress.

The good news is that you can break the cycle. I’m going to show you the ways you might self-sabotage at the table (and off it) and how to stop. Once you understand the psychological forces at play and implement a few practical strategies, you’ll be able to go from self-destruction to self-discipline.

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Recognizing Your Self-Sabotage Patterns

Before you can fix self-sabotage, you have to recognize when and how it’s happening. Many players assume that their biggest obstacles are external in the form of bad beats, tough opponents, and variance. But often, the real battle is internal. The way you think, react, and approach the game has a bigger impact on your results than you might realize.

Here are some of the most common ways poker players sabotage themselves:

1. Tilt-Induced Mistakes

Tilt is one of the most recognizable forms of self-sabotage. It happens when frustration, anger, or disappointment override your logical decision-making. You know you should fold, but you call anyway. You know you should take a break, but you keep playing. The problem isn’t lack of knowledge; it’s emotion taking control.

What triggers your tilt? Is it bad beats, losing to weaker players, or running card-dead? Identifying your tilt triggers is the first step to stopping it.

2. Fear-Based Play

Fear of losing can be just as destructive as reckless aggression. Some players sabotage themselves by avoiding risk altogether by way of folding too often, missing profitable bluffs, or failing to extract value from strong hands. Instead of playing to win, they play not to lose.

Do you ever pass up profitable spots because you’re afraid of making mistakes? What would happen if you trusted your decisions more?

3. Procrastination

Another subtle but powerful form of self-sabotage is avoiding the work required to improve. Maybe you keep meaning to review your hands, but you never get around to it. Or you buy courses and coaching but never implement what you learn. Inaction is just as damaging as bad action.

What poker tasks are you avoiding? Why? Is it fear of seeing mistakes, feeling overwhelmed, or simply not knowing where to start?

4. Overconfidence & Entitlement Tilt

Some players sabotage themselves by believing they “deserve” to win. This can lead to taking reckless risks, underestimating opponents, or blaming bad luck instead of acknowledging leaks in their game. While confidence is important, an unchecked ego can also stunt your growth.

Do you ever assume you’re the best player at the table? How often do you take time to analyze your leaks objectively?

5. Emotional Instability & External Distractions

If your mindset isn’t in the right place, even the best strategy might not be able to save you. Personal stress, fatigue, and external distractions can all lead to poor decision-making. Some players self-sabotage by playing when they’re not at their best, or they use poker as an emotional escape.

Are you playing in the right mental state? Are external factors influencing your decisions?

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The Psychology Behind Self-Sabotage

Now that you’ve learned about some of the ways you might be sabotaging your poker success, the next step is to understand why it happens. Self-sabotage isn’t random. It’s driven by deep-seated psychological patterns that influence your thoughts, emotions, and behavior.

Here are the key psychological reasons behind self-sabotage in poker:

1. Cognitive Dissonance: When Your Actions and Beliefs Clash

Cognitive dissonance happens when your actions don’t align with your beliefs. In poker, this might look like knowing you should study, but instead, binge-watching poker content without actually applying it. Or telling yourself that you’re a disciplined player, yet making emotionally driven calls when you’re tilted.

Imagine that you’ve spent months learning GTO strategies, but in a live game, you ignore them and make an impulse-driven bluff. Your brain feels uncomfortable because your action contradicts what you “know” is right—so instead of admitting the mistake, you justify it by thinking something like, “They just got lucky.” This is cognitive dissonance in action!

If you notice this happening to you, stop and ask yourself: Am I acting in alignment with my poker goals?

2. Fear of Failure vs. Fear of Success

Many players assume they’re only afraid of losing, but sometimes, the real fear is winning.

• Fear of Failure: You hesitate to take shots at higher stakes because losing would mean you’re “not good enough.”
• Fear of Success: You subconsciously sabotage yourself because success comes with higher expectations, pressure, or even more financial responsibility.

Consider this example: A player reaches a new profit milestone, but instead of continuing their disciplined play, they take unnecessary risks, resulting in a big downswing. Deep down, they may feel uncomfortable with success, so they unconsciously level themselves.

If you notice that success makes you uncomfortable, stop to ask yourself: What will change if I succeed? Am I resisting success?

3. The Comfort Zone Problem: Your Brain Resists Change

The human brain loves familiarity, even when it isn’t beneficial. If you’ve been a break-even player for years, a part of you expects to remain stuck. This is why some players struggle to implement new strategies or revert to bad habits after short-term improvements.

For example, you finally start playing a more aggressive style, and it works—until you have a bad session. Instead of sticking with it, you return to your old passive tendencies because they feel “safer.”

I want to remind you that you should expect discomfort when pushing past old patterns.

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4. Imposter Syndrome: Doubting Your Ability Despite Evidence

Even skilled players sometimes feel like they don’t belong at higher stakes or in tougher games. Imposter syndrome makes you feel like a fraud, leading you to self-sabotage before someone else “exposes” you.

Imagine that you’ve built a poker bankroll big enough for $2/$5 cash games, but every time you sit in that game, you feel like you’re not good enough—so you drop down in stakes instead of challenging yourself. This is imposter syndrome.

To stop doing this, try keeping a “proof” list where you track your progress and wins to remind yourself you do belong. And don’t forget that every great player once felt the same way. The key is pushing through your discomfort.

5. Self-handicapping as a Coping Mechanism

For some players, losing on their own terms feels safer than putting in full effort and still losing. This is why some players might make careless plays or avoid studying.  If they never truly try, they never have to face the idea that they’re not good enough.

Have you late-regged a tournament instead of starting on time, telling yourself that it’s “less stressful” to start with a shorter stack? But what you’re actually avoiding is the pressure of playing from the beginning with a deep stack. This might be a form of self-handicapping.

To be on guard against this tendency, practice asking yourself: Am I setting myself up for failure so I have an excuse?

Breaking the Self-Sabotage Cycle

Now that you understand why self-sabotage happens, it’s time to kick it to the curb. Changing these patterns isn’t about willpower alone. It’ll take a structured approach. The key is to become aware of your tendencies so you can challenge unhelpful thoughts and create systems that prevent you from slipping back into old habits.

Here’s a step-by-step plan to stop sabotaging your own success so you can start playing your best poker consistently.

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Step 1: Awareness & Acceptance – Catch Yourself in the Moment

You can’t change what you don’t see, so the first step in breaking self-sabotage is developing real-time awareness of when it happens.

How to Do It:

• Use a Mental Game Journal: After each session, write down any moments where you made a poor decision despite knowing better. What triggered it? What were you feeling?
• Pause Before Big Decisions: When you feel an impulse to chase losses, play outside your bankroll, or act emotionally, pause and ask: What’s driving this decision? Is this aligned with my long-term goals?

Step 2: Reframing Negative Thought Patterns

Thoughts drive actions. If you have limiting beliefs, like “I always run bad” or “I’m just not good enough,” you’ll keep sabotaging yourself. To change this, you need to reframe negative thoughts into productive ones.

How to Do It:

• Challenge Irrational Beliefs: When you catch a negative thought, ask yourself: Is this 100% true? What’s the evidence against this?
• Reframe Common Self-Sabotage Thoughts:
  • “I always lose when I move up in stakes” becomes “I’m still adapting to tougher games.”
  • “I can’t win because I run bad” becomes “Variance is part of poker. My job is to make good decisions.”

Step 3: Creating Pre-Game & In-Game Safeguards

Most self-sabotage happens when your emotions take over. The best way to prevent this is to create pre-game rituals and in-game strategies that help you stay in control.

How to Do It:

• Develop a Pre-Game Routine: Before each session, spend 5-10 minutes doing something that puts you in a focused mindset (e.g., deep breathing, reviewing notes, setting a session intention).
• Use “If-Then” Plans to Handle Emotional Triggers:
  • If I feel tilt coming on, then I will take a deep breath and sit out a hand.
  • If I lose a big pot, then I will step away for 2 minutes before playing the next hand.
• Have a Mental Reset Trigger: Choose a simple action that helps you reset mentally when you feel frustration creeping in (e.g., standing up, getting a drink of water, using a calming phrase like “next hand”).

Step 4: Building Self-Trust Through Small Wins

One of the biggest reasons players self-sabotage is because they don’t trust themselves. If you constantly make emotional decisions, skip study sessions, or fail to follow through, you send yourself the message that you’re not disciplined. The solution? Start proving to yourself that you can stick to good habits.

How to Do It:

• Set Small, Achievable Goals: Instead of aiming to “never tilt again,” commit to taking one deep breath before reacting to any bad beat. Instead of “studying for five hours a week,” start with a 30-minute session.
• Track Progress: Use a simple log to track mental game wins (e.g., “Today, I avoided tilt after a tough hand” or “I stuck to my session stop-loss”).
• Reward Yourself for Discipline: Each time you follow through on a good habit, acknowledge it. Reinforce the behavior by celebrating small wins.

Take Control of Your Mindset

Stopping self-sabotage requires making small, consistent improvements. By building awareness, reframing negative thoughts, creating safeguards, and proving to yourself that you can be disciplined, you’ll slowly rewire your brain to support your long-term success.

The next time you catch yourself about to self-sabotage, remember that you’re in control of your choices. Every decision is an opportunity to move closer to—or farther away from—your goals, so choose wisely.

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