Virgin’s Caliche Hymen Broken by Elon’s Girthy Drill

Elon Musk’s underground transportation system, the Vegas Loop, surfaced (technically, “porpoised”) near Virgin Las Vegas on May 24, 2024.

The Vegas Loop has transported more than two million riders, according to Musk’s Boring Company. Most of those riders wore lanyards. We love lanyards.

While there’s a tunnel to Virgin, that doesn’t mean you’ll be able to take the Vegas Loop to Virgin anytime soon. Let’s dig into it.

Not Elon Musk. Not a Boring Company drill. Not real sand. Yes, sand has lawyers now.

So, the Vegas Loop currently runs to various stops (the south, central and west halls) within the Las Vegas Convention Center, as well as to Resorts World.

Tunnels have already been drilled to Encore and Westgate as well. Here’s a link to our story, “Vegas Loop Experiences Multiple Borgasms at Westgate and Encore,” in case you thought the headline of the story you’re reading is our dumbest, ever.

Like we said, while tunnels exist to various places, you can’t get there from here. That’s because the stations haven’t been built yet. Boring is paying for the tunnels, casinos pay for their own stations.

We shared word the Vegas Loop was on its way to Virgin back in January 2024.

We asked Virgin how long it might be before people can actually get to the casino via the Vegas Loop, and the response was “hopefully within a year.” So, lower your expectations. The Vegas Loop is more of a long time horizon type deal.

That shouldn’t take away from the excitement of seeing the Boring drill emerge from the Las Vegas underworld, however.

The entire Vegas Loop project has been awash in questions, and the decision to drill to Virgin raises more.

Our theory is Boring Company meant to drill to the airport, a place people at the Convention Center actually want to go, but got distracted wondering how the hell long it’s going to be before we do another podcast episode. Fair.

A big criticism of the Las Vegas Monorail, which will be dismantled in the years to come, is it didn’t go to the airport. The taxi lobby saw to that.

A Vegas Loop stop at the airport makes a lot of sense, so naturally, that’s not what’s happening.

Why Virgin? Who the hell knows? Boring Company plays its cards close to the vest. Boring Company does virtually no interviews and P.R. They just do their thing, quietly cutting through our famed, rock-hard caliche like butter. Caliche is the main reason Las Vegas homes don’t have basements, although the number of online trolls would give the impression otherwise.

Actually, Virgin isn’t the final destination of this leg of the Vegas Loop, it’s a stop along the way to UNLV’s Thomas & Mack Center.

Boring’s Prufrock machine, reminiscent of the sandworms of Arrakis, can drill more than a mile in a week. If you got that reference, don’t worry, what you’re missing by never having sex is more than made up for by winning trivia contests at your neighborhood bar.

A piece of the Boring drill is on display at the Convention Center. Dibs on the band name Cutterhead.

Generally, we’re a fan of the Vegas Loop, despite all the criticism from folks who don’t really get Las Vegas.

Critics think the whole Vegas Loop idea is a boondoggle. They’re wrong, of course. It’s fun and Elon Musk is paying for the thing. Frankly, they had us at “taxpayers aren’t footing the bill for this.” Yes, there are some tax dollars involved, however. The first tunnels were paid for by the LVCVA, which operates the Las Vegas Convention Center, and the LVCVA gets its money from a room tax. Boring Co. will presumably recoup its investment from ticket revenue and about $160,000 a month (taxpayer dollars) to manage the system.

But still, Elon Musk is fronting the money for pretty much the whole underground rideshare system and Las Vegas gets some ongoing P.R. and the only thing that could make the Vegas Loop better is if they gave every rider a lanyard.

Look, it’s a hoot.

At some point (possibly 2028ish), the Vegas Loop tunnels will take you anywhere worth going in Las Vegas.

Boring Company just needs to keep on boring, while staying out of hot water (or alleged chemical-tainted sludge).

Even if the Vegas Loop haters turn out to be right, Las Vegas gets free fallout shelters. Those used to be a thing, and from the state of the world, seems like a thing that could be a thing again any day now.

Elon, you may have botched it with the Twitter rebrand, but radioactive fallout can cause hair loss, so thanks for having our back with the Vegas Loop.