Confirmed: Sphere Reels in Phish for Four Shows in 2024

We should say up front, we would not know a Phish if we tripped over one.

That aside, we totally shared Phish was being booked at the Sphere in April 2024, and that scoop’s finally been confirmed.

Phish plays the Sphere on April 18, 19, 20 and 21, 2024. Which is barely news, but we’ll take any opportunity to make Las Vegas things about us.

If you don’t like Phish, you can still enjoy finding all the A.I. errors in this image.

Here’s a look at our Tweet from September, further proof our sources are the best!

Then again, our source also said there were internal conversations about Phish playing the Sphere on New Year’s Eve. Hey, they aren’t wrong until it doesn’t happen, but it seems unlikely that’s going to happen. Nobody’s perfect.

Let’s focus on how our crystal ball has never been so relevant as when it’s prognosticating news about a massive orb. Here’s what Sphere had to say about the Phish news.

Our source even nailed the unique playlist thing. Then again, the band claims it has never played the same show twice in 40 years of performing.

This was our favorite response to the Phish announcement.

Since our original post, we’ve learned a lot about Phish.

Like the fact they don’t have any hits you’d recognize, and they’re a “jam band,” and they have a rabid following of stoned fans with questionable personal hygiene who will definitely help sell out four shows in about the time it takes for us to make love. (In other words, not a long time.)

Look, this is what people have told us on Twitter, don’t shoot the messenger.

Anyway, the Sphere can use all the help it can get. It recently shared the venue lost $100 million in one fiscal quarter.

We’ve shared often our prediction the Sphere will need to file for bankruptcy protection in the not-too-distant future, but financial things are boring. Music and eye candy are exciting!

The Sphere has taken the world by storm with its eye-popping video, both exterior and interior.

We have no idea how creating “unique visuals” for four shows pencils out, but that’s not the point!

Hopefully, the Sphere isn’t giving 90% of the box office to Phish, as is the case with U2, because that’s the quickest way to insolvency other than believing triple zero roulette is better than single or double because “there are more ways to win.”

Phish has a Web site which mentions the band is also playing Madison Square Garden in New York from Dec. 28 to 31, 2023. This is only interesting because the same guy who owns The Garden, James Dolan, owns the Sphere.

Well, technically, the Sphere was owned by Madison Square Garden Corp., but the business split into two parts, one of which is Sphere Entertainment Co. (which operates the Sphere), the other is Madison Square Garden Entertainment Corp.

It’s almost as if they company wanted to insulate itself from impending doom.

Again, we are what we dwell upon, so Phish!

Phish is from Vermont, home of God’s perfect food, creemees. Creemees are why God can’t fit into his pants. Creemees are like soft serve, but we never made a T-shirt about soft serve. Not kidding. We designed the shirt below 15 years ago or something and never sold one except to ourself. We do not want you to buy one. It would just be annoying if we mentioned it and didn’t give a link.

You never forget your first creemee.

Phish’s members are Trey Anastasio (lead singer, guitar), Mike Gordon (bass), Jon Fishman (drums) and Page McConnell (keyboard).

That’s right, Mike Gordon plays bass for Phish.

We’ll wait.

Phish dabbles in a variety of musical genres, approximately none of which people can listen to for more than 10 minutes without switching to something from the ’80s.

Phish has been around since 1983, and boy are their groupies tired.

A fun fact nobody’s talking about is the fact the stairs inside the Sphere are really steep. When they show “Postcard from Earth,” an IMAX-style movie (priced from $69 to $249), guests can get up for the duration of the film. Presumably, this is to keep them from tumbling to their deaths. So, we hope nobody going to see Sphere plans to stand up or dance or whatever the kids are doing at concerts now. Especially if they’re under the influence of things. What could possibly go wrong?

Anyway, the whole point is we know everything about Las Vegas, even the things we know nothing about.

Sorry to ruin the Sphere’s surprise, but somebody’s got to do it.