Caesars Palace to Get Tortazo From Chef Rick Bayless

Caesars Entertainment has snagged yet another celebrity chef partner for a collaboration, Rick Bayless.

We are not personally familiar with Rick Bayless, but the Internet says he’s a celebrity, so we’re playing along.

The chef’s new place, Tortazo, will open in the Caesars Palace food court later this year. Sorry, Forum Food Hall.

Caesar was ripped.

Bayless will also open Tortazo at Harrah’s Joliet, but that is not Las Vegas, so who gives a crap? (Worth noting: The concept will be a full-fledged restaurant in Joliet.)

Here’s the description of Tortazo, “Inspired by Mexico City’s gracious hospitality and colorful culture, Tortazo is a fast-casual Mexican restaurant by Michelin-starred chef, cookbook author and restaurateur Rick Bayless. The menu highlights the famous Mexican sandwich—the torta—while offering guests a variety of bold and flavorful Mexican dishes like mouthwatering tacos, quesadillas and house-made churros.”

1) They had us at “churros.” 2) Today we learned they give Michelin stars for rearranging tortillas, cheese, meat and vegetables. Shout-out to Jim Gaffigan.

We’d bet Rick Bayless never, ever gets tired of that joke about Mexican food.

Rick Bayless is best known for his PBS series, “Mexico: One Plate at a Time.” He got the Michelin star for his Chicago restaurant, Topolobampo.

Boy, Spanish hogs all the vowels, doesn’t it? Did you know Vietnamese has more vowels than consonants? The Ubykh language, which we didn’t know exists, has 84 phonemic consonants, our favorite kind of consonants. Ubykh has a high degree of agglutination, which is important to know because some people are agglutination intolerant.

Yes, the Tortazo news release was very brief, so we’re winging it.

Rick Bayless has a sweet YouTube channel and seems like a nice dude, with a sort of Bob Ross vibe. You know, not the kind of chef who screams obscenities and uses people’s heads to make “idiot tortas.” You know who you are.

Here’s his story.

If you’re unfamiliar with tortas, they are Mexican sandwiches.

It’s all the same ingredients listed above, but with bread instead of tortillas. The baguette-style buns are called “telera” or “bolillo.” Fun fact: “Telera y Bolillo” were a popular comedy team in the early 1990s, making many appearances on “Sábado Gigante,” a long-running series on Univision.

In Spanish, “torta” means “cake,” but don’t get your hopes up. They’re sandwiches.

The Internet claims “torta” is also slang for an overweight woman. Do not cancel us, cancel the Internet!

The Internet also says “torta” can mean “slap on the face.” Apparently, “tortazo” means “slap on the face,” too, but “tortazo” can also mean getting a pie thrown in your face. “Tortazo” is also slang for a blow with the fist, or “bang,” “knock” and “clout.”

None of these things were in the news release!

If we ever open a restaurant featuring tortas in Las Vegas, it will be called Desert Tortas.ᵀᴹ

We’re fairly sure these Mexican sandwiches are going to be delicious, and seem a good way to address the drunchies. Tortas are a wonderful source of protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals, at least according to Big Torta.

Tortazo will debut at Caesars Palace in late summer. The exact location in the food court hasn’t been determined yet. We hope it replaces Bobby’s Burgers, because something needs to.