R. Paul Wilson On: The Self-Help “Experts” Who Are Out To Get You
I have a healthy suspicion of anyone who tries to oversimplify complicated aspects of life and business.
A few of these self-claimed experts are less than qualified to advise anyone but prosper thanks to a common need for answers and solutions and a thriving “self-help” industry that attracts more hustlers than an easy card game.
Late night in Los Angeles, I found myself in a copy shop waiting to collect something and while I stood in line, the two men in front of me caught my attention.
One was a young man in his early twenties wearing a cheap but relatively new suit with old shoes.
He was focused, hanging on every word spoken by the other, older man who was in his forties or fifties.
The older guy wore an old but expensive leather jacket over a dark Italian shirt tucked into pants and I could smell the remains of a hundred cigarettes on his clothes.
He was a shark in shallow waters, a sleezebag and I marked him immediately as a grifter.
While he talked, his eyes watched the door as he complained about this and that to his young apprentice and I soon found myself wondering what his angle was.
In a way, I was correct on all three counts.
The Life Coach
While collecting my own printing, I managed to pilfer one of the brochures Mr. Leather Jacket was examining and as I left, I heard him berating the kid behind the counter for a discount.
This was an unpleasant human being who oozed ‘ugly’ from every pore of his leathery skin and yet I was baffled by the younger guy who seemed completely entranced with every word the old hustler said.
In my car, I retrieved the brochure and all became clear.
Old Hustler was a “life coach” and his brochures were advertising speaking events with promises of answers to all of life’s problems.
Photographs of Old Hustler in action showed an almost entirely different human being: Smiling, charming, interacting with people seemingly delighted with his advice.
It was a facade, carefully constructed to conceal the complaining, unhappy grifter I had watched in the print shop.
For a moment, I considered attending one of his seminars out of curiosity but decided against it as I’d already felt quite uncomfortable in his presence, though I felt a little concern for his young follower who was clearly buying every word that came out of Old Hustler’s mouth.
Maybe he was having a bad day, but I’ve seen this type of dual personality before and while I may have misjudged him, I’d happily bet I was on the money.
The Answers Industry
Old Hustler was an extreme example who came off like a background extra for a mob movie but I’ve met several other grifters working the same scam without being quite so obvious.
Keynote speakers, life coaches, authors of self-help books and even preachers fall into two clear categories: Genuine experts and fakers with a little bit of shared ground in-between.
People need answers to difficult questions and are drawn to people who claim to have easy answers to complex problems.
From diet gurus to security experts there’s someone to tell you that their formula is the solution and their books, videos and annual subscriptions are sold to millions of people promising money, health or peace of mind in return for cold, hard cash.
And it’s not always a scam.
Some information is extremely valuable, even essential, but the means in which that information is packaged, portioned out and sold has become all too familiar.
Many of us have spent hundreds of dollars on glossy materials and video discs only to learn that everything being taught can be found in a small book for less than 10 bucks.
Presenting With Confidence
The real problem isn’t inflated prices or gratuitous packaging, it’s the ease in which some people can rebrand themselves as an expert in order to fleece and fool the unwary with buzzwords and PowerPoint presentations while saying almost nothing of substance.
Like the curious con man I encountered in that Californian print store, it’s all about creating an image that people will buy (literally) then feeding them a diet of platitudes and made-up stories to satisfy their curiosity.
But it offers nothing positive in terms of real advice or potential for change.
Confidence really does work in this arena and I’ve watched real experts with less charisma be overshadowed by more gifted speakers who somehow manage to say almost nothing for an entire hour in front of an enthralled audience.
The more amorphous the topic, the greater the chance for deception since these Walter Mitty types can easily say almost anything without challenge unless a real expert happens to be on stage at the same time but even then it can be impossible to tie them down.
I’ve been on panels where fellow speakers range from legendary insiders to verbose pretenders who simply flap their gums until the audience applauds but it’s almost impossible to challenge them since they don’t say anything of actual substance!
It’s both frustrating and disappointing because the audience is constantly drawn to easy confidence rather than inconvenient or complicated insight.
It’s like a building contractor who gives an honest appraisal and a fair estimate for difficult jobs but is constantly losing out to cowboy builders who claim every job will be easy then do a terrible job for twice as much time and money.
People are drawn to this kind of confidence yet constantly deceived by it.
Shit From Shinola
As I learned years ago, “In the land of the blind, one eye is king.”
Meaning that in any walk of life where I feel uncertain or in need of direction, it’s a lot easier for me fall for a line of bullshit.
When interested in any topic, I tend to read about people and compare them to others in the field and I use my inbuilt grift sense to decide whether or not I smell something “off” about what I’m reading or seeing.
This can be a negative since being so suspicious all the time means I can miss out on positive experiences or opportunities but in this case, I’ll take that risk.
Learn to recognize a well packaged, highly polished turd compared to less flashy, more human speakers, writers or experts who don’t feel they need the pizzazz since they have better information, advice or solutions.
In truth, these speakers are wrong and quickly overshadowed by more attractive competitors despite their lack of real substance.
Find trusted organizations that provide access to proven sources of information or solutions.
I’ve been involved with one such organization for several years and I speak for their events, provide online consultations and write regularly for their members and my fellow speakers tend to be highly focused experts on a spectrum of expertise relating to human behavior and manipulation.
What this group provides is a curated selection of speakers and experts while other, much larger events allow a free-for-all where almost anyone can speak on any topic.
So apply a healthy dose of skepticism to any unknown source of information, not least if it applies to health or wellbeing.
Consider how many grifters have made millions as diet gurus or by advocating questionable lifestyle choices.
One such con artist finally ended up in jail but I have no doubt he’ll have another scam running as soon as he gets out and (sadly) a million more people buy his books and follow his dubious advice.