Asshat Gets Off Easy for Bird Decapitation at Flamingo

It’s one of the biggest cases of epic douchebaggery in the history of Sin City that didn’t involve Criss Angel.

In Oct. of 2012, three drunken idiots senselessly killed a helmeted guinea fowl at the Flamingo’s Wildlife Habitat. It was random and cruel (the bird was decapitated), and an almost unbelievable crime, especially since we knew the bird, named Turk, personally.

This blog's photo of Turk is the last known image of him.
This blog’s photo of Turk is the last known image of him.

Now, the main culprit in the crime, Justin Teixeira, has been sent to a prison boot camp as part of a plea deal, which will reduce the University of California, Berkeley law school graduate’s felony conviction to a misdemeanor.

His 190 days at at High Desert State Prison will involve counseling, education and physical training. So, basically, summer camp. For beheading a defenseless bird. If Teixeira fails summer camp, he could get one to four years in jail.

Teixeira blames the incident on alcohol, of course. Which is not only insulting to every thinking person on Earth, but also alcohol.

Teixeira’s future as a lawyer remains up in the air, as he awaits the results of the California bar exam. Hopefully, the state bar will exhibit some common sense, based upon their requirements related to attorney’s having “positive moral character,” and encourage Teixeira to pursue his true calling in the janitorial arts.

The other scumbags involved, Eric Cuellar and Hazhir Kargaran, got plea deals and paid small fines. Oh, yeah, Eric Cuellar is the one who taped the incident on his cellphone.

Read more at the Las Vegas Review Journal and Las Vegas Sun about the various slaps on the wrist resulting from this truly despicable moment in Las Vegas history. One we trust will never be repeated. Or else we handle the punishment ourselves next time.