Wasted Halfwit Vandalizes Plaza’s Giant Martini Glass

An individual witnesses describe as a “colossal dumbass” vandalized the giant martini glass in Plaza’s former porte cochere. The culprit appeared to be under the influence of unknown substances as well as deep and abiding stupidity.

The martini glass was one of the decorative items installed when the hotel’s Carousel Bar opened in May of 2023.

This is why we can’t have nice things.

Yes, that’s slot influencer Brian Christopher in the background. Stay focused.

A shoeless, unidentified male assaulted the martini glass in an unprovoked attack, breaking it off at the top of the stem.

Here’s some surveillance video shared by Plaza CEO Jonathan Jossel showing the incident and its aftermath.

Some people mistake martini glasses for cocktail glasses. Those people are rubes.

The martini glass is of special significance at Plaza because of the casino’s association with former Las Vegas mayor Oscar Goodman.

During his reign, Goodman was rarely seen without his martini made with Bombay Sapphire Gin, with whom he had an endorsement deal. Here’s an adorable video of Carolyn Goodman (the current mayor) making Oscar Goodman his favorite martini.

Back in 2005, Oscar Goodman made national headlines when he was asked by a group of fourth graders what one thing he’d want with him if he were stranded on a desert island. Goodman replied, “A bottle of gin.”

Not all heroes wear capes.

Anyway, we hear the martini glass will not be repaired or replaced, as it has been the subject of ongoing challenges, including being used by nimrods for potentially dangerous photo ops.

We can’t blame the kids entirely, as they have terrible role models.

Does Dita Von Teese overtly encourage vandalism of oversized glassware? We asked in the form of a question? To avoid having to interact with lawyers?

The Plaza’s martini glass sounded like a good idea at the time.

Just when we think people couldn’t do dumber things at Las Vegas casinos, they continue to surprise us.

A group of idiots once toppled the Manneken Pis statue at The D. Yes, we added the Benny Hill theme to the surveillance video. Do you know this blog at all?

Another inebriated MENSA member stole the Blarney Stone at The D for minute.

Yet another criminal mastermind stole a bust of Kirk Kerkorian from the Legacy lounge at Circa.

And these are just the downtown incidents that spring immediately to mind. Vandalism and general imbecility abound, everywhere.

As we’re renowned for always looking for every gray cloud’s silver lining, the good news is we have a wildly informative video to share involving martini glasses. This video is about to change your life. Gird.

While we aren’t able to share details about the resolution of the martini glass kerfuffle at Plaza, the incident took a concerning turn (beyond destruction of property) and we are assured the matter is in the hands of law enforcement and the shit-for-brains vandal will be held accountable.

Hopefully, that accountability will involve a cattle prod and possibly a human rectum. All due respect to recta.