Eight Memorable Phallic Objects in Las Vegas

When you arrive in Las Vegas, notice how the town always seems happy to see you? There’s a reason for that!

Sin City is pulsing with phallic objects, and we’ve collected eight of the most memorable here.

1. Eiffel Tower at Paris Las Vegas

The Eiffel Tower replica at Paris Las Vegas was erected in 1999.

Eiffel Tower Las Vegas
The Eiffel Tower at Paris is 541 feet tall. Although it might be exaggerating to impress its friends.

2. New York-New York’s Chrysler Building

The Chrysler Building at New York-New York Las Vegas is 40 stories tall and bulging with wonderful memories for New Yorkers.

New York-New York Chrysler Building
You’d have to be a jerk not to see the resemblance.

3. The Stratosphere

Not only does The Stratosphere provide an incredible view, it’s got a staff that’s hard to beat.

The Stratosphere tower rises to 1,149 feet, but tends to shrink slightly in cold weather.

4. The Linq’s Digital Marquee

The digital marquee at The Linq, a new shopping and entertainment district, is long, thin and exploding with excitement.

The Linq
The Linq hopes to deeply penetrate the shopping market on the Las Vegas Strip.

5. Luxor Obelisk

You’d be hard-pressed to find another landmark on the south Strip as blush-inducing as this obelisk at Luxor Las Vegas.

Luxor obelisk
We always get so pumped when we this this obelisk!

6. Venetian Bell Tower

When the Venetian’s replica of the Piazza San Marco’s bell tower went up in 1999, it was a seminal moment in Las Vegas history.

Venetian Las Vegas tower
If you don’t think this is satisfying, you’re nuts.

7. Bellagio’s Rock Crystal Obelisk

While the displays at the Bellagio’s Conservatory & Botanical Gardens change with the seasons, this 18-foot-tall, two ton obelisk is a constant source of joy and luck for everyone, even working stiffs.

Bellagio sculpture
You can view this sculpture whether you’re in the casino’s player’s club or not. That’s right, no need to be a member.

8. Mastro’s Ocean Club at Crystals

We’re engorged with pride to share the granddaddy of all the phallic objects in Las Vegas, Mastro’s Ocean Club restaurant at Crystals mall inside CityCenter. Our recommendation: Try the bone-in ribeye.

Mastro's Ocean Club Las Vegas
Mastro’s Ocean Club always appreciates its customers’ business and hopes they’ll come again!

Bonus phallic object in Las Vegas: “Hoto” at the Shops at Crystals.

Hoto sculpture
How does this sculpture not vibrate?

Have we missed anything?

Hopefully, this list hasn’t rubbed you the wrong way, or left you feeling shafted, and we’re open to any other suggestions you’d care to thrust at us.