Casino catastrophes are nothing new. But lately, they seem to come in all shapes, sizes, and levels of tragi-comedy.

Let’s start with some intrigue at the Crown Casino in Melbourne, Australia over the weekend. One guest at James Packer’s flagship resort mysteriously managed to wake up wedged into a ventilation shaft, with zero recollection of how this state of affairs had come to pass.

casino catastrophes Bruce Willis ventilation shaft

Casino catastrophes galore: Like Bruce Willis crawling through a ventilation shaft in “Die Hard,” a man became stuck at the Crown Casino in Melbourne, over the weekend. (Image: 20th Century Fox)

Had the unfortunate man not had a few bars of juice left on his cellphone, allowing rescuers to track him through the casino’s labyrinth air duct ventilation system, things could have quickly taken a grisly turn for the worse.

The man, who said he thought his drink might have been spiked, was eventually located behind a fire access panel shaft, into which he had probably fallen from roughly 10 feet, rescuers said.

Apart from a pounding headache and a very dry mouth, the man was reported to have no injuries when checked out by paramedics.

Staff and Crew Stuck on Hong Kong Casino Ship

While the Crown could boast one trapped man on its premises this weekend, it has nothing on casino ship the New Imperial Star, which has had an entire body of gaming staff, plus the ship’s crew, stuck on board for the last six months.

Until recently, the Imperial would carry Chinese gamblers into international waters so they could play baccarat without fear of reprisal from authorities. But on October 6, 2015, the ship was impounded in Hong Kong Harbor after failing a safety inspection.

The crew is refusing to budge because the ship’s owner, Arising International Holdings Limited, is refusing to pay their wages. The crew say they are owed remuneration ranging from $1,300 to over $6,500 per month for at least five months, and they’re concerned that if they leave the ship, they won’t ever see a penny.

Industry insiders told the South China Morning Post that the situation highlighted how the floating casino market has been hit by Beijing’s corruption crackdown on the gambling industry in general.

“Most of the cruise passengers were from the mainland, but now he has trouble getting enough gamblers and big spenders,” a source told the newspaper of the ship owner’s financial difficulties.

Sexual Enhancement Device “Bomb” Scare in Germany

On a lighter note, a German casino had the opposite problem when its staff and patrons were forced to completely evacuate the building due to a bomb scare caused by a penis ring vibrating in a trash bin recently.

According to German media, an employee of the Casino Halberstadt panicked after hearing a ticking and vibrating noise emanating from the trash receptacle in the men’s restroom. The entire block was cordoned off before the bomb squad was able to neutralize the offending article.

Police said that the battery operated sex-toy had been turned to its highest setting.