Asshat Who Terrorized Peachy the Flamingo Found Guilty
Some good news for animal lovers and fans of justice: The asshat who kidnapped Peachy the flamingo from Flamingo’s Wildlife Habitat has been found guilty of animal cruelty.
A Clark County jury convicted 34-year-old Canadian tourist Mitchell Fairbarn on Oct. 19, 2026, of felony and misdemeanor animal cruelty charges. He faces up to four-and-a-half years in prison when he’s sentenced Dec. 1.
Peachy has recovered from his ordeal. Here’s a photo.
The WTF-filled incident took place March 3, 2026.
Fairbarn, who claims he consumed 30 to 40 beers before kidnapping Peachy, grabbed the 27-year-old Chilean flamingo and took it to his hotel room.
Peachy suffered injuries to his wings, lost several feathers and required veterinary treatment.
Fairbarn’s attorney, Josh Tomsheck, argued Fairbarn had no intention of hurting the bird, describing his client’s behavior as stupid rather than malicious.
We’re all in agreement it was stupid, but that’s hardly the point.
After about five hours of deliberations, jurors returned guilty verdicts on both counts. Yes, misdemeanor animal cruelty and felony animal cruelty are two things. Prosecutors said one count resulted from his actions inside Flamingo Wildlife Habitat; the other concerned what happened inside the hotel.
Peachy has recovered physically, thankfully. In our photo caption, we joked about Peachy still being pissed, but the bird’s veterinarian says Peachy is more anxious around people now. Peachy has PTSD, basically.
So, Fairbarn remains under house arrest pending sentencing.
Which leaves us with the question of how long Fairbarn should spend in jail. We are a noted animal advocate, having appeared in a social media post for the Animal Foundation that one time.
All that to say we aren’t necessarily objective. We tend to like animals more than humans.
Our initial reaction to this incident was Fairbarn should have his ass handed to him. We have little sympathy for anyone who thinks tormenting a defenseless animal is a form of entertainment, or a “prank.”
What’s a fair and reasonable sentence? We’re taking the over-under of one year of jail time.
Not because we want to ruin someone’s life over an impulsive act of drunken dumbassery, but because actions have consequences, especially when those actions involve hurting a defenseless animal for amusement.
A one-year sentence works out to about nine months of actual time served, plus the nine months Fairbarn has already spent under court restrictions following the March 3 incident. He’s been under house arrest, not incarcerated. Fairbarn posted $12,000 bail and has been subject to high-level electronic monitoring. He surrendered his passport and hasn’t been allowed to leave the United States.
Nine months may not sound like a lot, but if you’re the one doing the time, it’s an eternity.
If we have compassion for animals, we need to have compassion for people as well.
Because of his stupidity, Fairbarn missed spending time with his father before he died, along with missing the funeral. He appeared to show true remorse about his acts in court (possibly for convenience, but we don’t get the impression he’s a sociopath).
Fairbarn’s attorney, Josh Tomsheck, says his client’s actions have had “very dire consequences to him personally and professionally,” including being separated from his three young children and watching his Ontario excavation business, which employs about 15 people, suffer during this saga. Fairbarn has also received death threats.
It’s called accountability, you jackass.
Deep breaths.
There are so many cases where animal cruelty goes unreported, and about 70% of crimes against animals go unsolved, so Fairbarn’s case has probably received a disproportionate amount of attention. “Making an example” of someone is great in theory, but that’s not the same as fairness.
Nine months of quality alone time should be enough for this shithead, especially if he loses his grip on the soap.
You can visit Peachy and his cohorts at Flamingo’s Wildlife Habitat from 7:00 a.m. to 8:00 p.m. daily. It’s free. Unless you do something stupid. Don’t do something stupid.
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