Roughly 3.7 Metric Ass-Tons of Las Vegas News

Las Vegas is a lot like a shark. It has to keep moving, or Roy Scheider will shove a scuba tank in its maw and shoot it. Or something.

Here’s all the Vegas news you need to make you the smartest person in the room.

googie The Cromwell, formerly Bill’s Gamblin’ Hall, and ever-so-briefly Gansevoort Las Vegas, will open May 21. The Cromwell will have 188 rooms, and cost $185 million to renovate.

The Cromwell
The Cromwell. Just like Bill’s, but a different everything.

googie Once The Cromwell opens, Drai’s nightclub, currently at Bally’s Las Vegas, will transform into an LGBT nightclub, Liaison.

googie Britney Spears’ show at Planet Hollywood, it turns out, has been a huge financial success. Lip-syncing aside, the show has made $10.9 million since it opened Dec. 27, 2013.

googie Two new festivals have been announced to augment the Electric Daisy Carinval (EDC). EDC’s organizers say the events will be Las Vegas versions of two successful California festivals, Beyond Wonderland and Nocturnal Wonderland. Based upon the popularity of EDC, expect to see a lot of Noctural admissions, if you know what we’re saying.

X marks the spot.

googie The Las Vegas pool party season is here. The Cosmo will kick things off with its Marquee Dayclub, March 6. Also opening are Bare at Mirage (March 13), Liquid at Aria (March 13), Encore Beach Club at Encore (March 14), Wet Republic (March 14), Palms Pool at the Palms (March 17) and Daylight Beach Club at Mandalay Bay (March 21).

googie “Raack N Roll,” a topless revue, has closed at The D, downtown. Rumor has it the topless show’s ticket sales were sagging.

Raack n Roll
We should’ve been more supportive.

googie In other sad news, Sin City’s Erotic Heritage Museum has closed. Thankfully, Las Vegas can always dip into its erotic reserves in such times of crisis.

googie “Million Dollar Quartet” recently celebrated its one year anniversary at Harrah’s Las Vegas. The Broadway-quality show is one of the best shows on The Strip, so get tickets to ensure it’s around for at least another year.

googie Magician David Copperfield has been sued for screwing over his employees. Copperfield, by the way, is worth about $800 million.

David Copperfield
Weird everywhere else is Tuesday in Vegas.

googie On Feb. 13, 2014, Elton John celebrated his 10th year as a resident performer at Caesars Palace.

googie If you’re a hockey person, you’ll be happy to know the Las Vegas Wranglers have found a new home. Atop the casino at the Plaza, downtown, on its fifth-level pool deck.

googie DB Brasserie will take the place of the former Valentino at Venetian. We would mention this restaurant is from chef Daniel Boulud, but we have no idea who that is.

googie A second wave of venues has opened at The Linq, the new shopping mall between Flamingo and The Quad. In addition, the High Roller Ferris wheel had its official lighting. The lights will be on from sunset through 4:00 a.m. each day. Still no word on when the world’s tallest observation wheel will open for riders, but it won’t be before St. Patrick’s Day.

High Roller Ferris wheel
The cost of the High Roller’s AAA batteries alone is staggering.

googie In one of the weirder bits of news we’ve heard in awhile, members of Michael Jackson’s family want to build a tribute to the former “King of Pop” in the form of a replica of Jackson’s compound, Neverland ranch. The rumored attraction would have an auditorium, a gift shop and a slushy drink bar which would sell “Jesus Juice.” Unless we just made that last part up.

googie Restaurant Week in Vegas is a great time to try prix fixe offerings at a variety of restaurants, with proceeds going to charity. The event runs March 7-14, 2014.

googie Two restaurants at Wynn have been given makeovers, Bartolotta and Wing Lei, neither of which we can afford to try, but we’re passing the news along in case you have a rich uncle on his last legs.

Wing Lei at Wynn
Thanks to Steve Wynn for texting us this photo of Wing Lei. Hey, it could happen. We’re BFFs.

googie Plans are in the works for a shopping mall to swallow up the Mob Museum, downtown. The 104,000-square-foot shopping center is supposed to open by the end of the year, but don’t hold your breath.

googie Tough Mudder at Lake Las Vegas, Apr. 26-27, 2014. It’s a thing.

googie Guns N’ Roses has officially confirmed a new residency at The Joint in the Hard Rock Hotel. Their residency, titled “No Trickery! An Evening of Destruction,” will run May 21 through June 7, 2014.

That ought to quench your thirst for Las Vegas news for a few minutes. Don’t worry, there’ll be more. It’s Vegas.