Suzanne Fizzles: Suzanne Somers Show Closes at Westgate Las Vegas

“Suzanne Sizzles,” the show starring “Three’s Company” and Thigh Master infomercial star Suzanne Somers, has closed at Westgate Las Vegas.

The show has been on a hiatus, scheduled to return on Sep. 15, 2015, but has instead been put out of its misery during the show’s break, probably to minimize continued financial losses and to help the 68-year-old Somers exit gracefully.

Suzanne Sizzles
Others may think it, but only we take the time to pirate the appropriate fonts.

The show opened at Westgate on May 23, 2015.

The untimely end of “Suzanne Sizzles” at Westgate was reported by the Las Vegas Sun’s Robin Leach.

Leach quotes Suzanne Somers as saying “the timing was off” and “it was just not the right fit.” Because in Las Vegas, it’s virtually impossible for performers and producers to form the simple phrase, “It tanked.”

Further laughable spin includes Leach claiming, “Suzanne will probably return with a new TV talk show project live from Las Vegas. She’s been in negotiations with a major Hollywood production team for a new program to tie in with her Las Vegas show when it resumes.”

The horseshit floweth deeply in Las Vegas, folks. Unless there’s a community access channel in Las Vegas we don’t know about, don’t hold your breath, Suzanne fans.

As one show closes at Westgate (well, two, an Elvis tribute show recently closed as well), another opens soon. Exotic cat magician Dirk Arthur, formerly of Riviera and O’Sheas (back when it was a casino), opens his show, “Dirk Arthur Wild Magic,” on Aug. 24, 2015.

Dirk Arthur
“Whatever it is, we’re against it.” ~PETA

Lots of changes are in the works at Westgate, and it appears the ownership is grappling with the reality running a hotel-casino is dramatically different than selling timeshares.

Westgate’s Edge Steakhouse opened recently with a new Italian restaurant in the works.

We wish Suzanne Somers and her thighs all the best!