Some Mouth-Breathing Asshat Stole the Blarney Stone from The D Las Vegas

You can get away with a lot of things in Las Vegas. But this isn’t one of those.

It appears some gippo (Irish slang for asshat, specifically the criminal kind) stole the Blarney Stone from The D Las Vegas. You might even say “brazenly.”

Blarney Stone thief
Ever see someone with a death wish before? Now you have!

The fragment of the original Blarney Stone was on display on the second floor of The D, a holdover from when the casino was Fitzgerald’s. (Note: If you want to know how this story endshappily, by the wayskip to the end of this blog post, already.)

This is one bit of “shenanigans” up with which this Las Vegas blog will absolutely not put. In Las Vegas, you don’t steal, you don’t steal things we love and you definitely don’t steal from our friends.

So, we’re offering up a reward for the safe return of The D’s Blarney Stone. The reward is, assuming the Blarney Stone is safely returned, we will not beat the perpetrator to death with the aforementioned Blarney Stone. Great reward given the circumstances, right?

Here’s the Blarney Stone in its rightful place, providing joy and good luck to thousands of law-abiding visitors for many years.

Blarney Stone
Do we really live in a world where you have to bolt every damned thing down? Really?

Apparently, the asshat in question played on the casino’s Sigma Derby slot machine, not too far from the Blarney Stone display, for 17 minutes prior to his ill-considered pilfering.

The sad part is the imbecile will probably dispose of the stone somewhere (since it’s not something he can sell out of context, there’s no provenance attached to it), perhaps nearby. We hit downtown to see if we could find it, but to no avail.

We did see the very sad scene of the crime, however.

Blarney Stone
Not for nothing, but the brackets which held the Blarney Stone in place are perfectly spaced to hold a human head. Not saying which one.

Let’s find this rhino’s nutsack of a human being and help him understand stealing is wrong and blunt force trauma is something he probably wants to avoid if at all possible.

Update: The D reports the Blarney Stone has been returned safely!

Blarney Stone The D
It’s back, as much in need of a pressure wash as ever, but it’s back!

Apparently, the culprit owned up to his drunken “prank,” returning the stone to The D in a backpack.

No charges will be filed, other than possibly a misdemeanor for being a bonehead. And a lot of us have that on our records.

Skeptical observers have asked if the theft of the Blarney Stone might have been a publicity stunt. Derek Stevens, owner of The D, says, “I wish I were smart enough to have come up with something that good, but no.”

Derek Stevens
Derek Stevens is the coolest casino owner in Las Vegas. How do we know? When the Blarney Stone was stolen, his Tweet about the theft contained the letters “WTF.” Case closed.

The D has made a few enhancements to the brackets holding its Blarney Stone in place to prevent copycats from getting any stupid ideas, hammered or otherwise.

“For someone to take it now,” said Stevens, “they’d have to take the whole stand.” In other words, the Blarney Stone is here to stay.