Bellagio’s Retail, Dining, Entertainment Expansion Shelved Indefinitely
It sounded juicy, but a proposed expansion to Bellagio called “Project Mojave” has been shelved indefinitely, we’ve learned.
The expansion, on the south side of Bellagio’s famed lake, would’ve added 400,000 square feet of restaurant, retail and entertainment space to the iconic resort some refer to as the “MILF of the Las Vegas Strip.” Actually, we’re the only one who calls Bellagio that, but we’re hoping it will catch on so we can get some T-shirt or fridge magnet royalties or whatever.
Anyway, Project Mojave isn’t happening. Competing priorities have prevailed, apparently. Cue the awkward red “X.”
The Bellagio expansion project was never officially announced, but plans were submitted to the the Paradise Town Advisory Board for review.
Trust us, the Paradise Town Advisory Board—an advisory and liaison body, relaying concerns and information between the unincorporated town of Paradise and the Clark County government—isn’t as sexy as it sounds, despite all the unprotected liaising.
The plans, including a number of renderings, were pulled from the Board’s agenda on two occasions at the request of Bellagio. In retrospect, we probably should’ve used a red flag rather than a red “X.”
As All Net Arena, Echelon Place, King David Hotel, LVXP, Dream Las Vegas, Atari Hotel, Majestic Las Vegas, the new Bally’s Las Vegas, Skyvue, Kind Heaven, the Las Vegas Spaceport, the Brightline high-speed train, the Sacramento A’s ballpark and myriad other imaginary Las Vegas projects affirm, renderings are easy, reality is hard. And in the cases mentioned, impossible.
We’ll give you a moment to look all those up. You’ll get better results if you include “failed,” “scam” or “debacle” in your search, along with “things Vital Vegas told everyone but nobody listened.”
Why has the Bellagio expansion project been shelved, if not entirely canceled?
Personally, we’d like to blame F1. We blame everything on F1, even if it’s not F1’s fault. It’s sort of a hobby. Also, everything is F1’s fault.
Beyond that, we could point a finger at flat visitation and casino revenue in recent months. We could also blame economic uncertainty caused by copious asshattery in Washington, D.C.
In reality, though, Project Mojave’s indefinite hold is due to MGM Resorts investing time and energy and cash in projects outside Las Vegas, otherwise known as “projects we don’t really care about all that much because they’re outside Las Vegas.”
MGM Resorts is involved in the Osaka Integrated Resort project, a joint venture with Orix, whomever that might be, to build a casino resort in Osaka, Japan. That resort will cost as much as $10 billion.
MGM Resorts is also vying for a commercial casino license in New York. If approved, MGM Resorts would invest more than $2 billion in upgrading Empire City Casino in Yonkers to become MGM Empire City.
Big projects, big bucks. Building and filling and managing a massive retail, dining and entertainment complex at Bellagio just isn’t in the cards for MGM Resorts at the moment.
There’s also more supply than demand for high-end retail in Las Vegas at the moment. The new BLVD shopping complex (formerly Hawaiian Marketplace) on The Strip already has shops opening. Good luck with that.
You’ll hear more when we do about the nixed Bellagio project.
Hopefully, what we hear will involve “Yonkers,” because that’s a funny word and we are easily amused. We’re also hoping for a return of the words “bumfuzzle” and “collywobbles.” No, we’re not giving you the definitions, you lazy bastard.
No, that’s not sexist. Both men and women can be bastards.
Which is counter-intuitive, because a female steward is a stewardess. Well, that used to be true. “Stewardess” is considered a gendered term that doesn’t reflect the diverse and professional nature of the role, now referred to as “flight attendant.” How does one distinguish between a male flight attendant and a female flight attendant? That is no longer allowed and you are sexist for even asking that question, not to mention rude for only asking about males and females, completely dismissing the other 70 gender identities, most of which we didn’t realize exist until right now. Especially “caelgender” that shares the qualities or aesthetics of outer space. Which helps explain our obsession with Uranus.
It’s also worth noting manhole covers are now “maintenance hole covers.”
Speaking of holes, this is what’s commonly known as a “rabbit hole.”
All the kids are doing it.
Fun fact: “Sprog” is an informal British term for kids.
Which we’re also hoping will make a comeback.
The little bastardesses.
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