{"id":48531,"date":"2026-10-02T17:15:43","date_gmt":"2026-10-03T00:15:43","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/?p=48531"},"modified":"2026-10-02T17:57:32","modified_gmt":"2026-10-03T00:57:32","slug":"nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/","title":{"rendered":"Nerd Bar at Neonopolis Sued for Injuries Allegedly Caused by Monster Penis"},"content":{"rendered":"

Sometimes, the comedy gods just lavish gifts upon us. This is one of those days.<\/p>\n

A woman has sued The Nerd, a bar at Neonopolis on Fremont Street, alleging she was injured after being thrown from the venue’s mechanical penis ride.<\/p>\n

We are the sole Las Vegas media outlet to share a photo of the offending penis. Gird.<\/p>\n

\"\"
We can only hope Casino.org doesn’t get prickly about featuring this photo.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

According to the lawsuit, Illinois resident Amber Zabran visited The Nerd with friends on Nov. 22, 2025, near closing time and asked to ride the attraction.<\/p>\n

Zabran alleges she paid to ride and mounted the mechanical penis without being asked to sign a waiver.<\/p>\n

The ride was controlled by an employee using a joystick and control panel.<\/p>\n

Yes, a joystick. The comedy gods just keep on giving.<\/p>\n

According to the complaint, the ride started slowly, then increased in speed. Zabran alleges her ankle became caught beneath the main portion of the attraction before she was thrown off, resulting in injuries.<\/p>\n

The lawsuit alleges negligence, vicarious liability and negligent hiring, retention and supervision, among other claims. Zabran is seeking damages for past and future medical expenses, lost wages and other damages. No specific dollar amount was reported. She has requested a jury trial.<\/p>\n

As an aside, you will never believe the name of our band in high school.<\/p>\n

\"\"
Vicarious liability is when a person or company is legally responsible for someone else’s actions because of their relationship, such as an employer being liable for an employee. Our band blamed Kevin for everything.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

So, pretty much another case of an opportunistic dimwit looking for a payday, and a bloodsucking lawyer to enable her.<\/p>\n

Let’s just say we’ve seen lawsuits in this vein in the past.<\/p>\n

The arguments are flaccid, but plaintiffs and their lawyers hope for a cash settlement.<\/p>\n

Businesses often get the shaft.<\/p>\n

We could pretty much keep this up forever.\u00a0So to speak.<\/p>\n

Yes, legitimate injuries obviously happen.\u00a0But when you ride a giant penis, you know the risks.<\/p>\n

Wherever there’s an insurance policy, somebody inevitably starts calculating pain and suffering.<\/p>\n

In our layperson’s opinion, this suit is lacking hard evidence.<\/p>\n

It’s possible there’s a penetrating legal case.<\/p>\n

Will there be oral arguments?<\/p>\n

We assume The Nerd is mounting a legal defense.<\/p>\n

We’ll have to wait to see if this case is dropped or limps over the finishing line.<\/p>\n

Yes, our friends at The Nerd should know better than to let people ride this thing without getting signed releases.\u00a0In today’s climate, don’t let anyone climb on your organ without a signed waiver!<\/p>\n

We can’t wait to see what’s ahead.<\/p>\n

Honestly, this whole drama is a little hard to swallow.<\/p>\n

If someone was truly negligent, they deserve a stiff penalty.<\/p>\n

If it’s really bad, they should be sacked.<\/p>\n

If innocent, though, nobody should be hung out to dry.<\/p>\n

Filing a frivolous lawsuit just to get a payday is a dick move.<\/p>\n

Try the veal and take care of your servers.<\/p>\n

Update (10\/2\/26): We asked ChatGPT to calculate the pun density of this story. It has 19 puns in a story with roughly 500 words total so our pun density is 3.79%, or roughly one pun every 26 words. This makes it the story with the highest pun density in the history of Las Vegas. You’re welcome and we’re sorry.<\/p>\n

\"\"
It’s not A.I. slop if it’s true!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Sometimes, the comedy gods just lavish gifts upon us. This is one of those days. A woman has sued The Nerd, a bar at Neonopolis on Fremont Street, alleging she was injured after being thrown from the venue’s mechanical penis ride. We are the sole Las Vegas media outlet to share a photo of the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,23,30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-48531","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-downtownlasvegas","category-vegas","category-las-vegas-wtf"],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nNerd Bar at Neonopolis Sued for Injuries Allegedly Caused by Monster Penis | Vital Vegas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Sometimes, the comedy gods just lavish gifts upon us. This is one of those days. A woman has sued The Nerd, a bar at Neonopolis on Fremont Street,\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Nerd Bar at Neonopolis Sued for Injuries Allegedly Caused by Monster Penis | Vital Vegas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Sometimes, the comedy gods just lavish gifts upon us. This is one of those days. A woman has sued The Nerd, a bar at Neonopolis on Fremont Street,\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Vital Vegas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/VitalLasVegas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2026-10-03T00:15:43+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2026-10-03T00:57:32+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/penis_ride_the_nerd.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1400\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"933\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Scott Roeben\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@vitalvegas\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@vitalvegas\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Scott Roeben\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<!-- \/ Yoast SEO plugin. -->","yoast_head_json":{"title":"Nerd Bar at Neonopolis Sued for Injuries Allegedly Caused by Monster Penis | Vital Vegas","description":"Sometimes, the comedy gods just lavish gifts upon us. This is one of those days. A woman has sued The Nerd, a bar at Neonopolis on Fremont Street,","robots":{"index":"index","follow":"follow","max-snippet":"max-snippet:-1","max-image-preview":"max-image-preview:large","max-video-preview":"max-video-preview:-1"},"canonical":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/","og_locale":"en_US","og_type":"article","og_title":"Nerd Bar at Neonopolis Sued for Injuries Allegedly Caused by Monster Penis | Vital Vegas","og_description":"Sometimes, the comedy gods just lavish gifts upon us. This is one of those days. A woman has sued The Nerd, a bar at Neonopolis on Fremont Street,","og_url":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/","og_site_name":"Vital Vegas","article_publisher":"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/VitalLasVegas","article_published_time":"2026-10-03T00:15:43+00:00","article_modified_time":"2026-10-03T00:57:32+00:00","og_image":[{"width":1400,"height":933,"url":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/penis_ride_the_nerd.jpg","type":"image\/jpeg"}],"author":"Scott Roeben","twitter_card":"summary_large_image","twitter_creator":"@vitalvegas","twitter_site":"@vitalvegas","twitter_misc":{"Written by":"Scott Roeben","Est. reading time":"3 minutes"},"schema":{"@context":"https:\/\/schema.org","@graph":[{"@type":"Article","@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/#article","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/"},"author":{"name":"Scott Roeben","@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/#\/schema\/person\/c4d18a46e6ee47e7841b986c288f333e"},"headline":"Nerd Bar at Neonopolis Sued for Injuries Allegedly Caused by Monster Penis","datePublished":"2026-10-03T00:15:43+00:00","dateModified":"2026-10-03T00:57:32+00:00","mainEntityOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/"},"wordCount":614,"commentCount":0,"publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/#organization"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/penis_ride_the_nerd.jpg","articleSection":["Downtown Las Vegas","Las Vegas","Las Vegas WTF"],"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"CommentAction","name":"Comment","target":["https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/#respond"]}]},{"@type":"WebPage","@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/","url":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/","name":"Nerd Bar at Neonopolis Sued for Injuries Allegedly Caused by Monster Penis | Vital Vegas","isPartOf":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/#website"},"primaryImageOfPage":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/#primaryimage"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/#primaryimage"},"thumbnailUrl":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/penis_ride_the_nerd.jpg","datePublished":"2026-10-03T00:15:43+00:00","dateModified":"2026-10-03T00:57:32+00:00","description":"Sometimes, the comedy gods just lavish gifts upon us. This is one of those days. A woman has sued The Nerd, a bar at Neonopolis on Fremont Street,","breadcrumb":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/#breadcrumb"},"inLanguage":"en-US","potentialAction":[{"@type":"ReadAction","target":["https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/"]}]},{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/#primaryimage","url":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/penis_ride_the_nerd.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-content\/uploads\/2026\/10\/penis_ride_the_nerd.jpg","width":1400,"height":933,"caption":"In our six years at Casino.org, we've received a sternly-worded note just once. The next one in three, two..."},{"@type":"BreadcrumbList","@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/nerd-bar-at-neonopolis-sued-for-injuries-allegedly-caused-by-monster-penis\/#breadcrumb","itemListElement":[{"@type":"ListItem","position":1,"name":"Home","item":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":2,"name":"Downtown Las Vegas","item":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/downtownlasvegas\/"},{"@type":"ListItem","position":3,"name":"Nerd Bar at Neonopolis Sued for Injuries Allegedly Caused by Monster Penis"}]},{"@type":"WebSite","@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/#website","url":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/","name":"Vital Vegas","description":"Essential Las Vegas News, Tips, Deals and WTF.","publisher":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/#organization"},"potentialAction":[{"@type":"SearchAction","target":{"@type":"EntryPoint","urlTemplate":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/?s={search_term_string}"},"query-input":{"@type":"PropertyValueSpecification","valueRequired":true,"valueName":"search_term_string"}}],"inLanguage":"en-US"},{"@type":"Organization","@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/#organization","name":"Vital Vegas","url":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/","logo":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/vital_vegas_logo.jpg","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/10\/vital_vegas_logo.jpg","width":800,"height":533,"caption":"Vital Vegas"},"image":{"@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/#\/schema\/logo\/image\/"},"sameAs":["https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/VitalLasVegas","https:\/\/x.com\/vitalvegas"]},{"@type":"Person","@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/#\/schema\/person\/c4d18a46e6ee47e7841b986c288f333e","name":"Scott Roeben","image":{"@type":"ImageObject","inLanguage":"en-US","@id":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/#\/schema\/person\/image\/","url":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/author-logo-lg-96x96.png","contentUrl":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/07\/author-logo-lg-96x96.png","caption":"Scott Roeben"}}]}},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48531","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=48531"}],"version-history":[{"count":3432,"href":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48531\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":48543,"href":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/48531\/revisions\/48543"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=48531"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=48531"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.casino.org\/vitalvegas\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=48531"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}